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Season 3, Episode 8
"Lord of the Pis"

Aired November 21, 2006 on The CW
Recap/Review by Yellowqueen22

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Yellowqueen22, moderator of the Neptunesite Forums (swing by there if you haven't already!), is now gracing us with weekly recaps and reviews of VM episodes. WARNING: If you have not seen the episode, spoilers definitely follow.

Short Summary:

Veronica is rehired at the school newspaper and is sent to photograph the reception for the trustees voting on the Greek system. Veronica and Keith work together to find a missing heiress, who is the key to the vote. Veronica uncovers the reasoning behind Clare’s fake rape. Logan and Veronica continue to have difficulty in the romance department.

Recap:

“My nose kinda belongs wherever I decide to put it.”

Easter Egg Hunt - Chip, President of the evil doing fraternity house (last seen in episode 3.4), is found passed out with his head half shaved. However, this doesn’t stop the fraternity from starting its Sex Quest, which is a system by which fraternity members earn points for sleeping with girls on campus. Dick reveals to Veronica that an Easter egg containing a roman numeral was shoved into Chip’s “sun don’t shine” place. Veronica convinces Dick to help her retrieve the Easter egg and find the hidden number. Veronica goes to Wallace to help her decode the numbers she found in the Easter egg. With Wallace’s less than helpful advice, Veronica discovers that the numbers are a date.

Veronica, using her library staff position, reads old issues of the newspaper to discover what happened on the date in question. Veronica discovers that Petrice Petrelli fell off the fraternity roof on that date. Veronica goes to Clare, Petrice’s best friend, to find out what Chip had to do with Petrice falling off the roof of the fraternity house. The girls tell Veronica that the boys would force sorority pledges, like Petrice, to strip before a two way mirror and then would draw circles with permanent marker all over them where they needed work. The harassment went so far with Petrice, that she was driven to walking off the fraternity roof. Veronica realizes that both Nish and Claire faked their rapes, and begins to wonder if all the rapes were faked.

Missing Heiress - Veronica is rehired at the school newspaper by the new editor and sent to shoot the reception being held for the school’s trustees. The reception is being help prior to the trustee’s vote determining the fate of the Greek system. Before Veronica can leave for the reception, she’s stopped by Logan, who asks Veronica to stay away from the rape case. In typical Veronica fashion she refuses and another argument ensues between our less than blissful couple. At the reception, Selma Hearst Rose, key voting trustee member and rich socialite, goes missing. With his typical insulting ineptitude, Sheriff Lamb dismisses the entire incident, forcing Dean O’Dell to go to Keith for help in finding the missing Selma Hearst Rose.

Selma Rose was last seen talking to a waitress at the reception, so Veronica goes to speak to the waitress. The waitress turns out to be none other than angry feminist cart driving Fern. Fern tells Veronica that she gave the phone to Selma Rose after a female voice asked for her. Meanwhile, Keith goes to meet with Selma’s husband, Bud, where he is greeted by an overly protective personal assistant. Keith learns from Brant that the Rose family hires a highly overpaid female dog walker who attends Hearst College.

Veronica cleverly pretends to be a hot reporter over the phone in order to trick Sheriff Lamb into disclosing that no incoming calls were made when Selma Rose went missing. Veronica confronts Fern with this information, but Fern reminds her that a call could have been placed from another phone in the building. Meanwhile, Keith interviews Selma’s brother, who discloses that Selma’s disappearance resulted in increased stock prices and Selma was in the process of divorcing Bud.

The dog walker turns out to be none other than sorority sister Hallie (last seen in episode 3.2). Veronica takes pleasure in questioning Hallie about Selma’s disappearance. Hallie tells Veronica that Brant is in love with Selma’s husband. The Mars Investigation team also discovers that the couple is about to celebrate their ten year anniversary, which is known as the “dine and ditch” since a spouse is then entitled to half of the assets. Keith and Veronica break onto the Rose property to find Selma hidden away with her dogs in the guest house. Her husband has been blackmailing her into going missing until after the tenth anniversary with photos of her affair with Hallie, who is his lover and doing his bidding.

Veronica and Keith convince a homeless man to give a fake report to the police. He tells the police that he saw a college girl arguing with Selma just before she went missing and then he point out Hallie as the girl in question. Sheriff Lamb pulls Hallie over and finds Selma’s missing earrings, planted by Veronica, as well as love letters from Selma’s husband. Sheriff Lamb confronts Bud with the information and arrests him. Selma then demands a divorce prior to the tenth anniversary in exchange for dropping the criminal charges.

Frightened Veronica – Veronica spends a few sequences of this episode fearful for her own safety. First, when coming home from the reception Veronica gets spooked after hearing some strange noises, thankfully she makes it home safely. Second, while researching in the library Veronica hears more strange noises, sending her into to a running and hiding panic, only to discover the janitor mopping the floors. Third, a man grabs her while she is trying to break up a fight in the school cafeteria. The man then reveals that he was hired by Logan to protect Veronica, while secretly following her. Veronica barges into Logan’s hotel room and flips out at Logan for his actions. Logan defends his actions by telling Veronica all he wanted to do was protect her. Veronica refuses to give up the case or change her ways. Logan declares his love for Veronica again and demands the same from Veronica. An upset Veronica declares her love and the couple decide to try to go easier on each other. However, later in the episode, Veronica fails to answer Logan’s call, which is witnessed by a heartbroken Logan

Sexual Exploits & Cheating – Dick is initially confident with his SexQuest point because he had sex with Bonnie. Dick is disheartened to find out her point count dropped because she slept with another frat house boy.

Review:

Love on the Rocks – I’m really sick of angsty Logan and angry Veronica, so if that is the way they are going to do it, then I’m all for the inevitable break up. I feel like both Logan and Veronica have left their characters at the door when dealing with one another. Logan’s become a whiny little heartbroken boy, who pretty much lets Veronica walk all over him. Veronica’s become angry and mean, taking out all her frustration on Logan, while saving her witty quips for Keith and Wallace. I wish that the VM team had chosen the less popular route of angst-less coupledom. I would have enjoyed watching LoVe as a happy couple and Logan serving as part of Veronica’s scoobie gang much more than the painfully boring and overdone angsty mess they’ve been showing us.

Easter Egg Hunt – although the Easter egg jokes could have gotten old very quickly, I really never got bored of the “sun don’t shine” or “dig to China” like jokes. On top of that, Veronica’s Easter egg hunt finally provided the much needed motivation for the angry militant females and gave us a pretty good clue towards discovering the rapist (HINT – if Nish’s rape was in fact a falsified rape, then anyone with an alibi for that date could still be the rapist).

Back On Track – the rather tense relationship between Keith and Veronica has finally dissolved and they are back on track with their father-daughter loving banter. It was great to see Keith and Veronica working together again, especially since they worked well together as a team and did not go behind one another’s back in any way.

Classified Ad – I’m not sure what to do at this point, so many missing characters, so many episodes. Once again Mac and Weevil were MIA, leading me to consider renting out some classified ad space in order to find them: “Saavy computer geek with an apple fetish and ex-gang leader with a heart of gold needed for snarky and intelligent television show.” What do you think???

Quotes:

Veronica: I’m off to steal the souls of the rich with my evil image capturing device.

Veronica: Hey there tall, dark, and timely.

Veronica: My nose kinda belongs wherever I decide to put it.

Logan: You’re not invincible and you’re not always right.

Keith: You might want to stop yelling at my daughter.
Logan: You might want to start.

Sheriff Lamb: Dollars to donuts you’ll find her sobbing into a mojito at the club because she lost an earring.
Dean O’Dell: Well, you’d be the donut expert.

Dick: Okay, I’m so not supposed to be telling you this, but it’s way too good.

Dick: He had to get one of the brothers to help unpack his suitcase.

Veronica: When you stick an Easter egg in a frat boy’s outdoor, do you kiss him first?
Fern: Is that a riddle?
Veronica: Poor Chip, you really wrecked ‘em.

Wallace: Inside a plastic Easter egg? And stuck it…
Veronica: Half way to China.
Wallace: I’m never going on another Easter egg hunt again.

Keith: Good morning.
Veronica: Yes it is. It came a little bit earlier than I would have liked.

Veronica: I don’t know about you, but I am dripping with information.
Keith: And I have so much information I have no place left inside for food.

Veronica: This is just like that time we went to Disneyland. If I have another altercation with Snow White and her disapproving dwarves you’re taking Sneezy this time. The park is closed the Walrus out front should have told you.
Keith: Honey… stealthy… remember.

Wallace: Man, all my orifices just went on lockdown.

Pop Culture References:

Lord of the Flies (William Golding) – Novel
Patty Hearst – Public Figure
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Television Show
The Big Lebowski – Movie
Kojak – Television Show
Pinball Wizard (Tommy: The Rock Opera) – Song
Swimfan – Movie
The Simpsons – Television Show
Disneyland – Theme Park
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves – Disney Story
You’ve Got a Friend (Carole King) – Song

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